Marriage Myths That Make You Miss

So often we compare ourselves with the next person. It is our human need to feel accepted or included that creates an ongoing question, "Am I good enough?" We also wonder, "Am I doing this right?" Of course, this is not the daily stance of most living beings, however, in times of frustration and confusion and even difficult decisions, we become open to these questions when our confidence and assurance is challenged.

I submit that even in our marriages we are lining up our experiences with what we thought we knew marriage would be. Once we are disappointed, we feel as though we have failed and the option of aborting the entire relationship swims around our psyche. In every relationship there is a expectation of how things will be and then there is reality. This is not necessarily a bad thing unless you are stuck in your imagination and can not fathom that there could be alterations to this expectation.

I want to take us on a journey of exploring the myths of marriage. It is my belief that once there is a realization and acceptance that things may not go as we hoped or planned we will find a peace about our union that will super cede all the misconceptions about what a fulfilled marriage can be.

My hope is to remind couples of the possibility of creating their own normal within the confines of godly principles and experiencing the blessing and fullness of a vibrant and rewarding marriage.

Each week we will destroy a myth that is destroying the hope in marriages.

Check us out each Monday for "Myths That Miss."

EX.

• My spouse should make me happy

• You should never argue

• Submission is old-fashioned

Money Matters

It is most crucial to the success of a marriage to stay informed and engaged when it comes to the family finances. It is our hope that you find this article below, from Focus On The Family, helpful.

HOW TO AVOID MONEY MISTAKES IN YOUR MARRIAGE

BY BILL ARBUCKLE

It’s one of the top causes of conflict in marriage: money. And many couples make the same money mistakes over and over. If couples don’t make an intentional decision to stop making these mistakes, they could eventually wind up talking to a divorce lawyer. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, once you identify these money mistakes in your marriage, you can take steps to get your finances — and your marriage — on track.

Mistake No. 1: Thinking it’s only about the money

When it comes down to it, the green stuff isn’t really causing the problem. Money is just a magnifying glass that supersizes the issues couples bring into a marriage. Issues like control. Fear. Insecurity. The feeling that someone is taking advantage of you. Maybe you’re dealing with these issues in your marriage, but chances are your spouse doesn’t know you’re struggling with fear or insecurity. So, sit down, have a safe conversation (with no dollar signs attached) and share your story with your spouse. Your spouse needs to know what you’re thinking and feeling to make good decisions about the family budget.

Sure, money decisions are tough. And money mistakes make marriage difficult. But fighting about money never solves the issue. It’s possible to have separate views about money and still agree on the best path forward for your family. One spouse may be a spender while the other is a saver, but rather than see each other as adversaries, think of your spouse’s money style as complementary. A saver looks to the future and puts money aside. A spender sees the need and looks for ways to solve it.

Mistake No. 2: Playing on separate teams

Sure, money decisions are tough. And money mistakes make marriage difficult. But fighting about money never solves the issue. It’s possible to have separate views about money and still agree on the best path forward for your family. One spouse may be a spender while the other is a saver, but rather than see each other as adversaries, think of your spouse’s money style as complementary. A saver looks to the future and puts money aside. A spender sees the need and looks for ways to solve it.

Mistake No. 3: Winging it

The best way to deal with money is to have a plan. Some families use a simple budget while others turn to organizations like Crown Financial or use budget planning tools and resources like Mvelopes, Money Life Coaching and Financial Peace University to minimize their spending and maximize their savings and retirement. Having a plan means sitting down with your spouse, discussing where you want to go financially, picking a tool that works for both of you and then sticking with it. While the conversation may not be easy, it’s worth the time and trouble to avoid common money mistakes by talking about the future of your finances.

How to find help

Because money mistakes cause so many conflicts in a marriage, it’s always best to pray with your spouse about your finances. If you and your spouse struggle over money, you don’t need to feel ashamed about turning to your church or a financial advisor who can help you find common ground and develop a plan that works for you both.

Want to learn more?

Check out our money management suggestions at Focus on the Family.

More from https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage

PURPOSE is the goal

When you look at this flower you see it transitioning into different shades...however, the fact that it's still a flower doesn't change. Whether you are WHITE in your best place or in a GREY phase, you still can flow into the GREEN which means life. Keep living! Purpose is the goal